Nothing can really last...
I haven't updated my blogspot in a long time, I guess it's time to do so now.
It's kind of a more appealing idea for me right now rather than working on my BIZ1 paper, which is due in a few hours. I'm a rebel like that.
I supposed I should have just posted some stuff here rather than my Tumblr. But, it's clearly not my fault when people assume that they're the ones that I'm talking about on my posts. I just have to point out that it's quite irritating when people think that everything is about them.
It's not. Geez, people. Take a hint. The world does not revolve around you alone.
My blog is my blog, and I write whatever I want. It is not anyone's place to say that I can't post this or that. It is not my fault if you assume that everything I put there is about you.
*le sigh*
I'm sorry. It's been awhile since I last posted anything here and yet I rant and rant. I am terribly sorry. It's just kinda nice to let out your frustrations once in awhile. I mean, I thought I was completely over it, but now that I think about it, I guess I'm not. I've moved on a bit, but completely? No, not really. It's an impossible feat.
In lieu of past events, let me tell you a story of what really happened.
There was a friend of mine... Well, we had a thing for awhile, but it didn't work out. That's what he said. I was really hurt and at one point I tried to kill myself. Well, not really. It was a rather weird feeling. I just wanted to hurt myself physically so that I won't feel the pain inside.
I wasn't able to slit my wrist because my friend, Carla, kept texting me the whole time to not do anything stupid or it's friendship over. It was a bit intriguing, the fact that I'm terribly scared of any physical pain, yet at that point in time, I just didn't care. I guess the pain inside was a bit too much that the being scared part was completely enveloped by it. Looking back now, it was completely stupid and I'm glad I had my friends who stopped me before I did it.
I was also appalled when I posted a pretty long post on Tumblr about it and so many people replied and even sent me some love in my inbox. :)
Anyway, that friend and I became... well, friends. I was still recovering and we also promised that we'll be there for each other no matter what. But, that didn't last very long since he just went and assumed that I was talking about him in a post of mine on Tumblr.
FYI, I was talking about another guy. I do not know why he thought that I could never move on to another guy. I went out with this guy, who was about 2-3 years older than me, once. It was nice, but I felt like it wasn't going to work out so I ended it before it was gonna go any further. He said it's fine and told me thanks for telling him as soon as possible, he also added for me to not be a stranger and still keep in contact. I said yes, of course.
I waited for like a few weeks and he still did not even dare to chat with me. I tried talking to him but he was like a completely different person. So, I got frustrated and opted to write about him on Tumblr. I didn't mention his name, that's why my other friend thought that I was talking about him.
People nowadays. After that incident, I felt like he was avoiding me, so I asked him. Then he kept on whining and telling me he's sick and tired of drama. He's practically telling me that he's sick and tired of me. Cause, apparently, I'm full of drama. Well, if he talked to me when I was happy with my life rather than when I was sad, maybe I won't be so full of drama, right? It makes sense. After that, it was awkward moment from the days that I would encounter him in school to the point that we didn't talk anymore. I tried talking to him, but he assumed again that at one time I made a face at him when I didn't. So, I'm tired. I'm just really tired. I wanted to stay as friends with him, but I guess he's sick and tired of me. Maybe, if he didn't assume so much then it wouldn't have turned out this way. He doesn't know how much he's hurt me. I cried so much in that last chat that we had.
He already hurt me when it was in that point in time that we were more than friends, and then he also hurt me more when we were just friends. What is the point in continuing? I tried, didn't I? He said, I didn't? I did.
He's completely changed. I don't really know him anymore. I still have that night's chat. I haven't opened it for awhile now, now that I realize. But whenever I do see it when I browse some of my laptop's documents and I see the notepad icon, my heart skips a beat.
Terrible ending, yet again.
After awhile, I was able to go out and have fun with a couple of South friends. Went to the Rodriguez's Halloween party and got drunk for the first time ever, and went to Cuenca Park @ Ayala Alabang for the 11/11/11 Southbound Lantern Festival which was just absolutely pretty and magical. Both events I went to, I saw him. I tried to talk to him in the Halloween party, but he wouldn't talk to me. It's actually safe to say that he was avoiding me. It was so obvious.
I can't really do anything about that. If he thinks that I'm an obsessive girl with a lot of issues, then so be it. I found out that he's been twisting the stories and telling it to his best friend. I don't know how many people he told, I don't care anymore. I'm tired.
I lost some, I gain some. But I guess my happy days are over. There's nothing to look forward to now. I was really envious when the others went to the Cangs' house to play the Game of Thrones board game. God knows how much I wanted to play it. :( But I guess, it's back to school life for me. No more going out. No more. It's back to the same 'ol boring Monica. Completely forgotten because of a new face in the crowd. :(
#le sigh
This is such an emo post.
I'm tired. I don't event want to check for mistakes in this post of mine.
Since I bet no one reads this blog anymore, but me. I don't really care.
Bye.
Good morning.
Is it to optimistic to hope for better days? Can I hope for it? :(
Labels: emo, long post
It's been awhile....
So, I stopped blogging for awhile...
AGAIN.
No surprise in that. Yeah, well.
I'd say I'm busy, but I'll only be lying to myself.
I kinda regret not continuing this blog though...
It's nice to read some past stuff I wrote back then.
Anyway, a lot has happened for the couple of... er... months.
Yes,
months.
For one thing, I'm already in my
2nd term of 3rd school year in college.
Which means, I'm that much closer to
graduation day.
Oh gosh. I can't believe that in just a few more terms, I'll be graduating.
*le gasp*On to more past experiences/events....
"
Vamanos,
Amigos!"
This coming
11/26/10, I shall be attending this
3 days 2 nights seminar in
Lucban, Quezon!
I'm soooooo darn excited!
I just wish that it's already
November 26!
I can't wait! 8D
Reading the activities lined-up for the seminar/workshop is making me even more excited!
Here's the poster for the seminar:
Photo courtesy of Media Max(Facebook) I shall now retell some previous activities/events, which I would like to remember when I'm already old & groggy... and I still know how to use the computer and how to check my blog.
I'll be a techie grandma, yes.
October 31
Photo courtesy of http://feedmink.blogspot.comHello,
fashion week.
Actually, I already blogged about this on my tumblr account, but I felt like I couldn't really talk much there like I can here.
Blech.So, one of my closest friends(who's an FDM student in our school) got me a ticket for the first show of the day. Quite nice of her to get me a ticket when I didn't ask for it. She practically read my mind. I love her.
Anyway, the designs were awesome! Absolutely AWESOME.
I found it intriguing that when a model comes out of the white walls and they're wearing a dress that's either all sparkly, or maybe, some dress you can't really wear outside, all the more the crowd will cheer and clap.
Nonetheless, all the collections were amazing.
After the first show, I got to be able to talk to a couple of other FDM students and they were really nice. We ate at a seaside restaurant near the
SMX Convention Center, after.
I find it a tad bit disappointing that all I ate that time was...
1/2 rice and beef with broccoli, while the others had a variety of food choices.
I shouldn't have shared with my friend.
She's too darn... stingy.
So anyway, went to watch the second show for the day after eating.
Actually, we didn't have tickets for the next show, but we were still able to go in the convention area and watch.
What's interesting though is that the guards do not actually look at your tickets, but at
you and
how you dress.
I will never forget that there were 2 girls, right in front of us, who were about to go inside, when the guards suddenly asked for their tickets. I can't exactly remember what they were wearing, but I reckon that one of them was wearing jeans... and chucks?
They both didn't have tickets, so the guards shooed them away.
Whilst, WE were able to go inside hassle-free(even though we also didn't have tickets).
Photo courtesy of Grace YenLindsey, me & GraceSo that day, I gained a couple of new friends. It was a whole lot of fun. :>
Hanged out with Lindsey after that...
Bad idea.
I was practically forced to shove down a couple of Shakey's meal down my throat by her father. :|
Also, whilst walking happily inside the mall, we were held up by a miss selling
Dead Sea Salt Scrub and a
4-step imakeyournailshealthythingamajiga.
Because of her demo on my nails, oh wait slash that, my
NAIL, this left thumb nail of mine is still epically shiny and smooth compared to my other nails... and, what's worst, it's going to stay like that for about a few more weeks. :|
Noice. It's getting on my nerves. I am too OC.
Wow, this is quite a long post... AAANNNNDDDD, I'm not done yet!
Yey! Just finished enlisting. I've been trying to enlist for 2 days now, but apparently, I needed to get my
Dean's List Certificate from the
Office of the Registrar before I could do so.
Hassle. :|
Here are my subjects for next term:
Death by courses.
In other news...Last
Sunday, I watched
Paranormal Activity 2 with my aunt at
Greenbelt.
I actually liked the film, though my aunt kept on complaining on how the camera's moving too much and it's giving her a massive headache. I told her it's part of the film that it's to make it look like a documentary of some sort, but of course, she did not listen and continued to complain till the next day. Yes, the next day.
For the record, I'm still looking and/or hunting down
Shaun Tan's book,
the Arrival.
I've been to more or less
8 bookstores and they all don't have it. How convenient.
Moving on.... again...
I thought I should blog about a certain person, but in my fear/paranoia that he or his friends might see this epically long post of mine, I shall leave or end this entry with a quote:
"If you start to miss me, remember, I didn't walk away, you let me go..."
xxxx
Labels: 3rd term, 3rd Year, Enlistment, long post, Lucban, missing, Paranormal Activity 2, Philippine Fashion Week 2010, PVW Workshop, Quezon, Seminar, Shaun Tan
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Photo courtesy of Media Max(Facebook)
Photo courtesy of Grace Yen
Death by courses.